I haven’t written in a while but now we’re finally back from Hawaii and I’m not sad at all!  We were there for 6 days with all 3 kids and Frank and I were both happy to come home.  It was fun taking the whole family but also completely exhausting!  Now if we were there just the two of us I’m sure it would’ve been a different story having to leave.

We stayed in Waikiki and this was our first trip to Hawaii for all of us.  It was absolutely beautiful and we did a lot in 6 days. 

We stayed at the Aston Waikiki Sunset (ResortQuest) only because it was the best deal for a one bedroom suite.  We wanted to stay at the Hilton Village because that’s where everyone told us to go but their price for a 1 bedroom suite per night was the grand total we spent at the Aston (which needless to say is why I booked it!).  But then when we got to the hotel we very quickly realized why the price was so appealing.  The place was in desperate need of remodeling.  Thankfully, we were only there to sleep so it served it’s purpose.   However, we will never stay there again.

The next day we had to make our way over to Hilton Village to board the Atlantis submarine and Frank said “Oooh I wish we would’ve stayed here” until, of course, I reminded him of the money we were saving by not staying there.  

The first day we were there we went to the beach which was 4 blocks from our hotel and then we went back to the room and us girls got all dolled up for the luau. 

We all got ready early so I suggested we walk down to the Moana Surfrider hotel to get “The Best Mai Tai In Town” per The Today Show.  It was very strong and not very sweet.  But Frank was very happy with it.

Then we missed our bus to the Paradise Cove Luau in Ko’olina so we had to drive ourselves.  But that worked out and we didn’t end up missing much:  just the pig roasting which I’m glad the girls didn’t see anyways otherwise they’d probably want to be vegetarians by now!

The following day we headed up to the North Shore and I told everyone we’d just take a drive and see the sights so the baby could take a nap.  No one knew I secretly packed our swimsuits and towels!  Not sure how they all missed the big bulky beach bag but it was a great surprise!  This is also where I got my crazy sunburn (hence the reason there’s no picture here).  I thought my oversized sunglasses covered more of my forehead so I ended up getting burned and looking really strange.  I also thought the one finger spread of sunscreen across my forehead would keep me covered so that’s why the name ’stripes’ was so fitting for Frank to call me the next couple of days.  

Then we went to Waimea Falls Park and it was breathtaking especially because I didn’t know Oahu had any waterfalls so not expecting to see any and then seeing this was awesome.

They told us they do a lot of weddings there and after the 25 minute walk through the park we know why.

The next day we did a dinner cruise and the kids really loved the entertainment on board.  There were hula dancers, a Hawaiian singer and a little magic show.  We also did the Polynesian Cultural Center but we weren’t very impressed with it.   That could also be due to how hot and humid it was though. 

The real highlight of the trip for Frank and I was the snorkelling at Hanauma Bay.  What a beautiful place to snorkel.  As you all know we had planned to do our first dive on this trip after getting PADI certified but we had a problem bringing the baby on the boat so we didn’t do it.   This was still a great experience though and no regrets about not scuba diving.

We were able to take all the kids on this trip to Hawaii because of all the spectacular deals there are online.  The islands are really hurting right now because of the recession so if you can afford to take advantage of the deals US Airways is offering I suggest you do it while there’s still time.  Also, check out www.sidestep.com.  They have some great deals and are generally about 15% lower than priceline and all the others.  For those of you who made a face when I said US Airways, yes I know, we feel the same way about them.  But are you more loyal to an airline or your own wallet? 

All and all it was a great trip and we’re glad we shared it with the kids.  Next time we’ll do Maui or Kauai and we’ll just hang out on a resort and never leave.

Mahalo and Aloha!

Well, I figured since my tuna noodle casserole is so popular that I would add my low carb fettuccine alfredo recipe.  It is delicious.  After all, the only thing that separates it from traditional fettuccine alfredo is the carbs from the normal pasta.

1 box Dreamfields low carb linguini (yes linguini and not the fettuccine)
1 rotisserie chicken (traditionally seasoned) chopped/cubed
1 stick of butter                                     
3/4 pint heavy cream
1 pinch of garlic powder
sea salt and fresh ground pepper to taste
3/4 cup peccorino romano cheese
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

Start the pasta as indicated on box.  (As soon as you put the water on high and wait for it to start boiling immediately start alfredo sauce).

Then in a med size sauce pan, combine all remaining ingredients except parmesan cheese and bring to a moderate boil.  Once bubbling turn down to med high.   Once pasta is prepared, drain and serve.  Then top with the parmesan cheese.  (You can top with a little parsley too.  You could also add artichoke hearts, peas, or broccoli).

This is a very simple, fast and easy recipe that the whole family will love.  Each serving yields about 10-15 carbs depending on how ‘big’ your serving spoon is.

The pasta is controlled carb pasta so while it is significantly lower in carbs than traditional pasta you should only eat 1-2 servings because too much will actually convert to sugar in your body thus, being totally counter-productive to a low carb diet.  But, if you don’t eat much that means leftovers! 

So enjoy it for dinner tonight and again for tomorrow’s lunch.

Happy Low Carbing…

Also, to all Atkins or low carb followers out there, Atkins has come back with their bake mix and their own low carb pasta.  I just pre-ordered mine today!  Can’t wait to start baking! 

Look to the right for more of ‘My Low Carb’ recipes.      —————->

Disciplining children can be hard enough as it is in a traditional family.  But add divorce, joint custody and getting remarried to the equation and it makes it even more difficult.

The girl’s father was very lazy, nothing bothered him and it took pulling teeth and ultimatums to get him to lift a finger.  Now I’m in a relationship that is quite the opposite:  Frank does things way before I even need to ask.  The problem with this type of personality though is that he is ‘Johnny on the Spot’ when it comes to my girls and the proper discipline.

I’m from the school that no one disciplines your children except their own parents (unless of course they’re staying at someone else’s home and the parents aren’t around). 

Frank is from the school that anyone can and should take matters into their own hands.  [I don't mean literally.  Neither one of us has never laid a hand on any of the kids.]

For example, this just happened the other day, Frank and I stayed up way later than we normally do watching movies and then the following morning Frankie woke up and we didn’t hear him cry.  Kaitlyn’s room is right next to his so she went in his room, took him out of his crib and brought the baby into her room to play with the idea that she was helping us out. 

Me, being the lover of all things sleep, loved this.  I’ve allowed her to do this in the past, either by me asking her to go get him or vice versa so I’ve seen her take him out of the crib many times and she’s never had a problem.  Plus, if she had a hard time taking him out and accidentally hurt his legs or something he would not hesitate to cry.  But that scenario has never happened.

So I wake up with Frank walking into our room with the baby and he said “Did you know Kaitlyn takes the baby out of the crib?”  I said yes and thought that would be the end of it.  He then says “I don’t want her taking him out of the crib unless she asks us first and we say its ok”.  To which I replied ok and went back to sleep.

The next day as we’re all sitting around the table having lunch and Kaitlyn tells Frank something funny that happened that morning and Frank asked if she got the baby out of the crib.  Her and I both said yes.  He got pretty upset and said he didn’t want her to do it anymore.  I told him I recalled that he didn’t want her to do it without getting permission first.  He then said no, he doesn’t want her doing it at all.  He explained that he doesn’t feel she’s strong enough and didn’t think it was a good idea.  Then I got upset that he was doing this in front of the children and not allowing me a say in this.  I explained that if the baby was getting hurt he would cry as she was pulling him out of the crib, etc.

The most frustrating aspect of all of this is that he and I (like all parents) are supposed to be a united front.  So we can’t argue about it in front of the children.  But at the same time, pressing issues need to be dealt with immediately so the kids understand the consequences of their actions right away.

The other reason this hit home a little too much is because just a couple weeks ago, the girl’s father told me that the girls tell him that I do ‘whatever Frank says’.  This absolutely boggled my mind, first, because supposedly it came from the girls and second, I do not do as I’m told.  I never have.  So this was a complete shocker.  Now I know that my ex loves to say stuff to get under my skin and he never has a nice thing to say about Frank but the thing that cut to the core of me was wondering if that was really the girl’s perception of me?  Now I know they’re only 7 and 6 but still.  He also told me that the girls tell him that I make Frank his dinner and his drinks.  I told my ex that this is coming from our children and that I make dinner and get drinks for everyone.  I also added that I used to make dinner and drinks for him and I too when we were together.  It was then that he realized what I was saying (or at least pretended to).

So after this heated moment at the dinner table all of these thoughts started running through my mind.  And all I kept wondering was what the girls were thinking.  So since Frank raised his voice I decided to raise mine.  I told him “I did not appreciate him talking to me that way, especially in front of the children and I wanted an apology.”  He started to apologize right then but I said I wasn’t done yet.  I then said “if you have a problem with how I do things around here talk to me about it behind closed doors where we can resolve it between the two of us.”  He told me (in front of the children) that I was right and that he was sorry… and then everyone was silent for the next few minutes.

Now this isn’t, of course, the least or worst of examples.  It was just the most recent.  We’ve always had this problem about discipline.  He thinks I’m not consistent enough and I think he’s too harsh.  We’ve been to plenty of parenting classes due to horrendous allegations by my ex where we learned that you have to tell a child 2000 times each behavior you’re trying to correct. 

Last month, my youngest daughter got all her toys taken away by Frank because he’s had to tell her too many times to pick up her toys after she’s done playing with them.  And he did this when I wasn’t home.  Now I understand that there should have been some form of consequence but I thought taking away all her toys was way over the top.  I also don’t think that he, being the soon-to-be-Stepdad, should be the disciplinarian.  And many counselors and other people in the field we’ve spoken to agree with me on that.

But he disagrees.  He doesn’t believe he should’ve waited til I got home to let me handle it.

Anyways, the point of me sharing this is to try and figure out if I’m alone in this.  I can’t be.  But does every blended family household go through this?  Or anything remotely similar?  Did anyone grow up in a broken home?  What were your experiences?  How would you have handled either scenario differently?

Call me crazy… but why are people paying for this certification?  What is stopping people from buying their own scuba gear, reading “Scuba Diving for Dummies” and then going off to dive into any ocean they want?  Is there some sort of scuba police that I don’t know about where they’re waiting to ask for your PADI ID?!

Don’t get the wrong idea here, the money isn’t the problem – its’ the time.  Frank and I and the kids are going to Hawaii in the next month and Frank wanted to get certified before we went.  To me it seemed like a logical thing to do until our ’scuba instructor’ told me yesterday that Frank and I have to watch a DVD, read a 150 page book, answer the 5 chapter tests, get acquainted with our RDP contraption, and meet him on Friday for an orientation meeting!  What the heck!  All I want to do is breathe under water!  Does it really take all this to get that accomplished?? 

Frank and I have been scuba diving before.  Well let me rephrase:  I’ve been scuba diving before.   A couple years ago we went to Cabo San Lucas (ahhh) and we added scuba diving to our itinerary online while we were booking the trip.  When we got to the hotel who was sponsoring this adventure the instructor gave us our gear, told us there was a 15 minute instuctional video and when we were done to meet him on the pier at the boat!

This scared the heck out of Frank because he’s not the best of swimmers coming out of upstate New York and all.  He was expecting a class at the hotel pool.

I wasn’t scared yet.  I had never been scuba diving before but I had been snorkelling in Catalina Island before.  So since there was no formal training being given here I just thought this was going to be easier than I ever imagined.

We got all our gear on, met our instructor at what looked like a fishing boat, drove out to the picturesque rock formation that is on every postcard from Cabo and then we threw the anchor.

The instructor who could barely speak english reminded us to swallow every foot to a foot and a half and to wave to him if there was a problem.  Frank and I initially had problems starting because we weren’t used to breathing through a straw.  This was it for Frank.  He was freaked out.  He climbed back up into the boat and told me to go ahead.  It took me a while to get the hang of it but eventually I did and went down.  I loved it.  I saw a family of seahorses nestled into the ocean wall and I had this fish follow me for most of the whole experience.  It was a pretty euphoric feeling.

A little scary at first but well worth the anxiety.  I’m a little nervous right now about doing this in Hawaii but mostly because we’re taking the kids with us.  So we’ll see how it goes.

I am a meat and potatoes girl through and through.  I would much rather have seconds on dinner than waste my time with dessert.  So, I feel compelled to share this pot roast recipe with all my fellow low carbers!  It’s pretty simple to make this low carb:  just omit the potatoes and don’t add any flour or thickening agents.

Low Carb Pot Roast

3-5 pound chuck roast
sea salt
fresh ground pepper
1 TBL unsweetened butter
3 TBL EVOO
1-2 cups baby carrots
1-2 cups celery (cut 2 inch length)
2 cups onions
1-2 TBL garlic
1 bottle red wine (use a cabernet sauvignon)
8 large fresh thyme sprigs
2 bay leaves
3 TBL tomato paste
1 TBL worcestershire
4 cups chicken stock

Season roast with salt and pepper.  In your largest pot over med high heat sear each side in EVOO, butter and garlic (approx 1 min each side).  Add carrots, celery, and onions.  Saute for 5 minutes.  Add wine, thyme and bay leaves.  Bring to a boil until liquid is reduced by half (approx 10 min).  Stir in tomato paste, worcestershire and chicken stock and bring to a boil again.  Cover and cook for 3-4 hours on med high.  Turn over every 45 minutes.

I usually give the kids most of the carrots.  That will subtract some carbs if you’re doing a strict 20 carbs a day.  The wine yields about 12 carbs so don’t drink the sauce! 

Happy Low Carbing!

Below are more low carb recipes:
Low Carb Shrimp Fettuccine
Grilled Cheese
Low Carb Tuna Noodle Casserole 

Nobody seems to agree on what “low carb” really means.  I mention it a lot on my blog so I thought I should clarify what low carb means to me.  To me, it means 25 carbs a day filled with healthy, unprocessed meats, cheeses and veggies and organic whenever possible. 

Yes, I am an Atkins follower, however, I do not eat fatty meats, nitrate filled bacon and sausage or processed foods all day.  When Dr. Atkins wrote his first book he states that induction should be at least 2 weeks long.  This 2 week period is just to switch your body to burning fat instead of carbs for energy.  That’s it!  The problem here is not many people hang in there long enough to graduate to the next phases of Atkins.  So please take every negative thing you’ve heard about the “Atkin’s Diet” and realize that for someone who has been eating a high carb/sugar unhealthy diet that the 2 week adjustment period is much needed.  It basically gives the body a much-needed shock.  It’s not a long term committment. 

There are others, such as bodybuilders, who believe low carb is 40% of their daily calories should come from carbs instead of the traditionally recommended 55% to 60%.   But this really isn’t low carb at all because the majority of the calories are coming from carbs…yet some people do call it that.

There is a different carbohydrate intake number for everyone.  Not everyone can lose weight on 40, 50 or 60 grams of carbs a day.  It took me a long time to figure out that 25 carbs a day is where I need to be to lose weight.  And sure, I go over that number occasionally but it’s what I stick to as my guide.  Frank’s number is 55.  I envy him for that but he’s also a guy with a very muscular build so I get it.

But for anyone, the most important aspect to your success is to burn more than you eat.  But where carb intake becomes important is in how it affects hormone and blood sugar levels.   That’s why you can’t even cheat here and there ‘just a little’.  Because that tiny bite of Ben N Jerry’s ice cream will send your blood sugar levels way off kilter and make you crave more sugar.

My typical low carb dinner is a protein and a veggie (no carbs except what’s naturally in the vegetables).  This meal is quite filling and will last me until breakfast the next day.   But if I eat a pasta dinner from, let’s say, Olive Garden I will want seconds and possibly dessert at the end!  Because that’s what carbs do – they stimulate cravings and make you want more of them!  Why?  Because your body is not getting what it truly needs.  It doesn’t need all those carbs to  survive.  When you ingest too many carbs at one meal your body makes you keep eating more carbs in hopes that you’ll finally feed it something nutritionally abundant.

Think of it this way, go back to basics.  Eat the way our ancient ancestors did:  an all natural diet filled with meats, eggs, nuts, seeds, fruits, and veggies. 

Happy Low Carbing!

Here’s a link to my most popular low carb recipes:

Low Carb Shrimp Fettuccine
Grilled Cheese
Low Carb Tuna Noodle Casserole

If you have read anything about myself or my family you already know that we are big believers of “date night”.   For us, it is one of the many secrets that keep our bond strong.  For a few hours we get to laugh, have good conversation and have some alone time with no kids around. 

Two Friday nights ago Frank and I had a wonderful date night.  It was probably one of the best ones in a long time.  The date nights that we don’t plan usually end up being the better ones.  We had a wonderful dinner at a greek restaurant and then we went and saw the movie, The Hangover.

But this last Friday night was spent in San Francisco.  I had no idea we were going anywhere so this was a big surprise.  Frank told me last Monday that I needed to start packing for 3 days away.  I was so excited.  I’m a big fan of being surprised.

This is the second trip to San Francisco since we’ve been together.   For our date night we went to Fisherman’s Wharf and ate at one of our favorite restaurants, Aliotos.  I know it’s a tourist trap there which is exactly how we first found the place.  They treat you like family when you’re there and the clam chowder is delicious!  Then we walked around Pier 39.  I also had the lobster risotto which was amazing (I just passed the mushrooms over to Frank).

While we were there we also went to Monterey and Carmel.  Something we didn’t get a chance to do the last time.  We also visited his cousin and her family that live 40 minutes north of the city and we fell in love with the cute little town.  In fact, we were trying to think of a way we could move there.

We stayed at Parc 55 which is right in the garment district (Union Square).  It was hard to find at first only because of all the one way streets and also because the GPS on our phones wasn’t working well because of all the tall buildings!  But that was actually pretty funny!  We were on the 25th floor with an amazing bay view.  (see below)

Next time we come hopefully it will be to take the California real estate test and we can start marketing in the northern California area.

Every year at this time, I always want to get my Dad something better than the year before.  It’s so hard to buy anything for someone who is so distinguished.  He has everything already.  What could I possibly get him that he really wants and doesn’t already have?   Well, Dad I am about to try…

Dear Dad,

I love you more than words can say.  You have always been the world to me.  When I was little and would put my hands in yours I trusted you to show me the way.  And never wavering, you always would.  All my life you were there whenever I needed you.   You are a wonderful teacher with the utmost patience and you possess a kind-hearted spirit that makes me strive to be more like you every day. 

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Dad in you.  Too many people I have met throughout the years either lost their father at a young age or worse, never even met their father.  I couldn’t imagine either one or anything in between.  You have been such an inspiration to me. 

You taught me right from wrong, good and evil, how important it is to believe in God and most of all to cherish life and all it has to offer.  All the while instilling in me so many life lessons.  You told me early on that “priority #1 is always Numero Uno” – that health is the most important thing because if you don’t have your health you will experience nothing.  You taught me as a teenager that “life isn’t always fair” and the soonest I believe that the less disappointments I would feel. 

You’ve always had a way of bringing the most mundane of things to life.  A boring drive would turn into fun and excitement.  We would guess what the people in cars in front of us looked like just by their bumper stickers, license plates or where they bought their car.  Or teaching me about how a car engine works by drawing a diagram and showing pistons, rods, the crank shaft and side block. 

I remember when we went up north to find a Christmas tree and we made a day of it.  We stopped and played in the snow, made snowmen and snow angels and had snowball fights.  We picked the most beautiful tree we could find and then lost it on I-17 just 30 minutes before we got home.  It was one of the best days ever!  We laughed so hard and then on the way home we picked up a tree on a street corner a minute away from our house!  

I remember spontaneous road trips like when you drove us up to the top of the Four Peaks and we actually drove through the clouds. 

I remember telling my friends that and them thinking you had magical powers.  And I would tell them that I really thought you did have magic powers because who can drive through clouds?

 I remember all the bike rides where we would ride and talk.  Then, we’d come home and jump in the pool because we were so hot!   Oh and lets not forget my sweet 16 birthday.  It was time to drive but first you had me change a tire.   You didn’t lift a finger – you only gave instructions.  

These days it seems we don’t have enough time to be with each other like we used to.  When we do, I get to see you in your role as Grandpa.  It’s there where I get to relive your goofiness and marvel in all the things I loved about you when I was a kid.   I see the kids light up when you play with them and it brings me such joy inside. 

You are not just a wonderful father.  You are a wonderful son, husband, grandfather, a friend to many, an inspiration to all that know you and a blessing to all that share your love. 

Thank you for being you!  Happy Father’s Day!

Love Always,
“Peanuts”

(no, no one else is allowed to call me that… besides Mom and thankfully she never does!)

— The song above is mine and my Dad’s favorite father-daughter song. —
                                                       Enjoy!

Blended families is a subject that people don’t like to talk about but statistically we know our society is going through.  With fifty percent of new marriages ending in divorce I’m surprised this topic isn’t being talked about every day in the media.  Fifty percent is a very scary figure.  Especially for someone like myself, who comes from a broken home and has already been married once.

Currently, I am engaged.  (If you want to get to know me real quick click here.)   There’s a lot more to me than the fact that I have two children from a previous marriage and one child with my fiance.

Frank, my fiance, is an authoritative person naturally.  He is very loud whether he’s happy, sad, angry or even sneezing.  Myself, on the other hand, have a hard time being heard even if I’m standing a foot away from the person I’m talking to!  I am also considerably more laid back than him.  I grew up in a somewhat affluent neighborhood in Scottsdale and Frank is from a small town in New York.  However, he is Italian.  His father was born and raised in Palermo, Italy and his mother is a first generation American but both her parents are from Northern Italy.   So, small town or not, he has very traditional values.  On top of this, the neighborhood he grew up in (and didn’t leave until he was 20) was nothing even close to middle class.  The stories he tells about prostitution outside his bedroom window and the segregation he witnessed as a small child in the 70’s makes you assume he grew up on the streets of Brooklyn! 

But the values instilled in him were a strong work ethic, play little, save more, spend less, expect a lot, trust no one except your own immediate family, be true to your word, and leave a legacy behind that your children will be proud of.   There is nothing wrong with most of those values.  But those values are very rare to find in Arizona.  The people here are generally known as laid back, non-confrontational, care-free and more about family than we are about work ethics.  There is also an 8 year age difference between Frank and I – him being older.

When you put the two of us together it creates a wonderful balance.  But when it comes to the children we have very different levels of patience, tolerance and our ideals as parents. 

Now that you understand a bit on where we both are coming from I can tell you that the hardest part of being in a blended family is when it comes to discipline.  He thinks he should be able to discipline the girls on the spot right when he sees it.  We have seen several therapists who have all told him it’s best for him to tell me so that I can do the disciplinary action.  That’s’ how it was when I was growing up with my stepdad.  He would never have stepped over my Mom to discipline me.  If he had I would have laughed at him but that’s because I was much older than my girls are.  I was a teenager. 

On the other hand though, I do see the side that Frank is on.  It’s his house, he needs to be respected also.  But the thing is that I share custody with my ex husband.  So their father is very much in their lives (3 days a week).  Which makes it hard for Frank at all levels because they already have a Dad.

The girls don’t see (or hear) how bad of a father their real Dad is because I have never vented that frustration to them.  They don’t know why their father has lived with his parents ever since we split, or why he hasn’t had a vehicle for the past 4 years.  They don’t know why they eat mustard sandwiches at their Dad’s house (not kidding – he actually fed that to them) and steak at Mommy’s.  Frank works tirelessly so that I can be home with the kids even though that was never our plan.  But three years ago when I went to my attorney seeking more custody he told me that the best way to guarantee that was to quit my job and stay home.  At the time, my ex was working very long hours but by the time the trial came around he quit working and told the Judge he was in school.  The end result gave me the ridiculous outcome we have now. 

Also, to show you the extent of evil we have had to endure by my ex, he maliciously accused Frank of striking my youngest daughter in the face with his fist.  (She was four at the time and you could tell her that the sky was red and she would think that the sky was red).  This incident happened on Memorial Day two years ago – a day before his contempt hearing.  Memorial Day weekend in Arizona is known to be spent either in a pool or a nearby lake.  The girls were in three different pools during the long weekend and Britney is very fair skinned.  She had what doctors later diagnosed her with as contact dermatitis caused by pool chlorine.  When their father picked them up he saw 2 small red blotches under her eye, then went to the grocery store, went home to his mother who immediately saw an opportunity to drive a wrench right through my heart and my family so they called 911 (3 hours after the exchange).  Frank was then arrested within 90 minutes.

Then because the contempt hearing was the very next day, the Judge would not hear anything about this new accusation.  She wanted to set an exclusive hearing for just this accusation but didn’t see that it was an urgent matter so she immediately ordered Frank not be at home when the kids were there.  Then on Father’s Day we found out I was pregnant with Frankie!  To add to it, I was already four months along with a due date in December.

My attorney wanted a clean custody case so he was working only on my custody case and wanted a criminal attorney to handle this other accusation.  This in itself, pushed the process even longer because the criminal attorney we hired had much worse cases he was dealing with.  Long dramatic story short, Frank was gone for 6 months and both judges (in the criminal court and family court) ruled that my ex acted with “malice intent” and proved without a doubt that Frank never struck Britney in any way shape or form.

It was hard to see any silver lining in the clouds during that difficult time.  But after it was all over we realized that those 6 months did wonders for us as a family unit.  Prior to this, the girls never had a chance to miss Frank.  Both girls would draw him pictures, write him letters, tell me to tell him the sweet things they say about him.  He came home the day before Thanksgiving and when I went to go get the girls and bring them home to him they jumped out of the car, ran inside and jumped into Frank’s arms and didn’t let go for what seemed like an eternity.  Every one of us cried, (especially me being 8 months pregnant)! 

This goes to show you the good in Frank’s heart and also that he is still by our sides willing to do whatever it takes to keep our family in tact.  We battle daily the pessimistic behavior that the girls witness at their Dad’s house so we’ve learned that as long as he and I are a united front that we will end up coming out on top … hopefully the girls will take after us.  And we never talk bad about their father … in front of them. 

Blended families can survive.  Since he came home, we implemented family night every Monday (but no, we are not Mormon).  The girls love it.  I also started taking them somewhere on Saturday nights when I get them back from their father.  That way it gives them something to look forward to while they’re gone and it also makes them anxious to come home!    As far as discipline goes we have a ‘chore board’ that we update each week.  This makes it easy for us to keep track of “wages earned” (we don’t call it an allowance because that implies they are entitled to it) and also if chores don’t get done there is a corresponding consequence.  We have very much a team oriented home with everyone accountable and responsible for holding up their end of the bargain.  The girls feel needed and they know what is expected of them.

I am blessed to have Frank in my/our life and I know that the girls will come to realize the same thing in time.  Together we’ll do this.  I know we can.  I have learned to be more constant and unwavering in regards to disciplining and he has learned to tolerate more and recognize that with children you have to tell them everything at least 2000 times before they’ll remember it!

This family will not be a failed statistic.  Guaranteed! 

If you’re not tired of my stories please read:  Young Women Need to be Selective, not Selected and/or An Ode to Stay at Home Moms.

Get your mind out of the gutter!  I’m talking about exercise!

Here in the suburbs of Phoenix today it is supposed to reach 100 degrees.  That is way too hot to workout in so, needless to say, if I don’t get out of bed in the morning by 7am I won’t end up working out.  By the time the kids go to bed at the end of the day I am exhausted.  The last thing I want to do is workout at 8:30-9pm.

So, after this whirlwind of a weekend where we were going to bed late and sleeping late, I decided last night at midnight that I would wake up at 7am this morning.  I set my alarm for 7 and I woke up this morning at 6:30 … because of our cat!  He just comes up sometimes and lays right by my head and purrs so loud that it wakes me up!  He’ll do this just to get me to wake up and refresh his bowl.  I say “refresh” because there is food in it but I have to toss it around to make it sound new to him I guess.

Anyways, so thanks to Cosmo I woke up before I wanted to today.  And now it is only 3:30 in the afternoon and I am drinking yet another cup of coffee.  But, I did get right on the treadmill this morning after getting out of bed.  That is not an exageration at all.  I take a sip of water and then go right to running.  I ran straight this morning for 28 minutes without stopping.

A year ago I couldn’t run for longer than 3 minutes without stopping.  I always heard about these strange people that could run for miles at a time and I never thought I could do it.  But now I’m facing a different dilemma:  I’m not sweating as much anymore after I run for 30 minutes.  So last week I started running for 40 minutes but this morning I didn’t want to.  I do want to run a marathon someday but right now I’m just trying to lose 10-15 more pounds.   Usually after I run I will do 3 sets each of reverse lunges, pushups and crunches.  I will change it up daily to either different crunches or instead of push-ups I will do dips using a bench or vanity stool.

After I ran this morning I started to make a pot of coffee (even though I didn’t really need it anymore) and I was wanting to work out some more.  So I put in the Wii Active that Frank bought (for himself) a couple weeks ago.   Wow!  It actually made me sweat!    I did the high intensity 30 minute workout.  It has you do kick ups, lunges, inline skating, tennis, dancing, rows, barbell lifts, and all kinds of other things.   We almost bought the Wii Fit but I think we’re happy with this one for now.  I couldn’t believe it.  When he bought it I thought it would be another thing that would just sit and collect dust but I see now why he likes it.

 The summers in Arizona really don’t permit any outdoor workouts at all.   I am the type of person who would rather be outside exercising than inside.   Normally, during the fall, winter and spring you will find me on any one of the 10 or so hiking trails within the city limits.   But during the summer I stay inside!  Because of this, I am the opposite of most people:  I tend to gain weight in the summers! 

So all this made me wonder:  which do you prefer (weather permitting)?  Are you an indoor or outdoor exerciser and what are your favorite workouts?  I need some ideas flowing my way to give me some alternating workouts.

Visit http://amothersmemoir.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/my-secret-for-weight-loss/  for low carb recipes and tips and tricks for getting over weight loss plateaus.